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I own that.
My feelings get hurt, my anxiety skyrockets and I get pretty fucking useless for a spell.
I hate rejection.
This applies to pretty much all kinds of rejection. Social, professional, from financial institutions … from my cats. All of it. When someone denies me for their affiliate program — even though I've covered the bases in my application and have gone above and beyond — I sulk about it. When I get denied for speaking gigs, even though I know that I'm great at it and there's an interest in my topic, I take it personally. When I get cold-shouldered by the “cool kids” at a conference, I limp off to lick my wounds.
But no one really likes it, right?
I mean, why would you? Rejection is awful, no matter how tiny it is. Sure, some people are really good at deflecting it and just moving on, but then there are people like me. I take it to heart, and I dwell on it. I allow myself to feel my feelings. (Hi, I'm a toddler mom. I tell him to do this all the time, so might as well practice what I preach, right?) I wallow for a bit.
And then I get the fuck over it and move on.
For today's rejection, I am writing this blog post. Because I was very confident when I approached the situation, and maybe a little too confident. So the rejection stung a little extra. But it's time to pull up the bootstraps and get past it. I have already reached out to see if there was another option. I am good at what I do. I am learning every day. And not everyone is going to understand what I do. So it's my job to teach, to educate, to help. Sometimes that means educating the people who are in charge of making decisions.